Vous l'avez attendu toute la semaine.. La voici:
C'est l'heure de *voix d'animateur de quiz hyper*
[Devine la Joke!!]
Brought to you by les Poissons de Babel
Frapper-frappez la plaisanterie:
"Frapper-frappez
Qui est là?
Toby
Toby Qui?
Toby... ou pour ne pas être!"
___________________________________________
[and the 3rd guest is...]
Our friend Genevive!!!!
Wooooo-Hoooooo!!!!!
*cheers-applause-wave*
__________________________________________
[to censor or not to censor]
I still haven't decided on that
___________________________________________
[How Many Days in Detox, Now?]
There's a reason why I lost count.... I succombed Tuesday nite (I wasn't gonna brag about it, now was I?)
What can I say.. My resolve is weak when it comes to him
He needed me and although still resentful, I was there
Maybe I've been lying all these years when I was saying my mission in life is not to save souls
Isn't it ironic considering I am pure evil?
___________________________________________
[Coming up Next Week]
My own-personalized-designed-only-for-you quiz.
Look for it on Wednesday.. it's almost ready!
Thursday, May 22, 2003
This week's Messages section
is disguised as a
[Classified] section...
__________________________________________________________________
[Hunting for Cinnamon Chrome]
To my utter shock and totally terrified horror, today I discovered that if you Google Search for "Meteora traduction linkin park" hit number 13 is...... ME!!!!
Some poor guy in France ended up viewing my site, searching for a translation of Linkin Park lyrics...
Bonne blague!
The same way, some poor super-hero-comic-book addicted kid searching for his favorite hero Titanium Man, will end up on my site if he looks at the 51st link...
Better yet, of course, "days cinnamon chrome" has me as number 1 hit...
Now here is my challenge to you:
Find a search engine of your choice, find some time to waste and "shout out" the funniest/weirdest search words/words combination/sentences you can think of that will give you my site in the first 10 hits.
In the meantime, I will decide if I do some censoring/editing of the previous episodes...
________________________________________________________
[Bravo]
A Zoo Keeper for taking the time to sign the Guest Book. Who will be the 3rd brave one?
On a Miss Ruby aussi qui vient nous visiter régulièrement.... Ruby, ma pitoune, jase un peu avec nous quand tu viens visiter...
________________________________________________________
[Everybody is talking about it]
Personnally, I don't give a shit..
But here's what some people had to say about the American Idol Finale:
"(...) Stretching well past the breaking point at two hours, the "American Idol" finale didn't even officially begin until 9:00 p.m. ET, leaving many viewers possibly wondering what they had been watching for an hour.
(...) It was a night of medleys. One could scarcely turn around without bumping into a group of "Idol" finalists just bursting to explode in semi-synchronized song and dance
(...) Just moments before 10 p.m. ET, Ruben Studdard, the soft-spoken 25-year-old from Birmingham, Alabama became the second American Idol. Sweat and tears swiftly reduced Ruben to a puddle of overjoyed, relieved liquidity."
Daniel Fienberg
"(...) American Idol" took to the streets, where a male fan called Clay "the answer to skinny white guys' prayers everywhere,"
ET Online
"We would really like to do a movie like Justin and Kelly did. It could be some type of LAUREL AND HARDY thing."
Ruben Studdard
"The throaty, 24-year-old Alabaman, seemingly as big as the 205 area code he represents, was crowned winner"
Joal Ryan
____________________________________________________________________
[I shut up now]
I'm too scared to say anything else for today.... What if this link falls into evil hands?
is disguised as a
[Classified] section...
__________________________________________________________________
[Hunting for Cinnamon Chrome]
To my utter shock and totally terrified horror, today I discovered that if you Google Search for "Meteora traduction linkin park" hit number 13 is...... ME!!!!
Some poor guy in France ended up viewing my site, searching for a translation of Linkin Park lyrics...
Bonne blague!
The same way, some poor super-hero-comic-book addicted kid searching for his favorite hero Titanium Man, will end up on my site if he looks at the 51st link...
Better yet, of course, "days cinnamon chrome" has me as number 1 hit...
Now here is my challenge to you:
Find a search engine of your choice, find some time to waste and "shout out" the funniest/weirdest search words/words combination/sentences you can think of that will give you my site in the first 10 hits.
In the meantime, I will decide if I do some censoring/editing of the previous episodes...
________________________________________________________
[Bravo]
A Zoo Keeper for taking the time to sign the Guest Book. Who will be the 3rd brave one?
On a Miss Ruby aussi qui vient nous visiter régulièrement.... Ruby, ma pitoune, jase un peu avec nous quand tu viens visiter...
________________________________________________________
[Everybody is talking about it]
Personnally, I don't give a shit..
But here's what some people had to say about the American Idol Finale:
"(...) Stretching well past the breaking point at two hours, the "American Idol" finale didn't even officially begin until 9:00 p.m. ET, leaving many viewers possibly wondering what they had been watching for an hour.
(...) It was a night of medleys. One could scarcely turn around without bumping into a group of "Idol" finalists just bursting to explode in semi-synchronized song and dance
(...) Just moments before 10 p.m. ET, Ruben Studdard, the soft-spoken 25-year-old from Birmingham, Alabama became the second American Idol. Sweat and tears swiftly reduced Ruben to a puddle of overjoyed, relieved liquidity."
Daniel Fienberg
"(...) American Idol" took to the streets, where a male fan called Clay "the answer to skinny white guys' prayers everywhere,"
ET Online
"We would really like to do a movie like Justin and Kelly did. It could be some type of LAUREL AND HARDY thing."
Ruben Studdard
"The throaty, 24-year-old Alabaman, seemingly as big as the 205 area code he represents, was crowned winner"
Joal Ryan
____________________________________________________________________
[I shut up now]
I'm too scared to say anything else for today.... What if this link falls into evil hands?
Wednesday, May 21, 2003
[Test of the Week]
ok... Je DEMISSIONNE!
Even in unrelated tests I get an EVIL answer! How in HELL did I manage that one!
You are an evil bastard. Why don't you save us all
some trouble and jump in front of a bus.
What the hell is wrong with you?!?
brought to you by Quizilla
___________________________________________________________
[Rico Suave?]
Go read this story...
It's probably all the jerking off that made me think of him...
___________________________________________________________
[Celine Dionne]
Apparently we're not the only ones making fun of her
__________________________________________________________
[Birth Control Pill Adventure]
Yesterday at the pharmacy:
Me: I have a prescription under "X" (to remain anonymous)
Parmacy Lady: Diane 35? Birth Control pills?
Me: Yeah
Pharmacy Lady: How are they working for you?
Me: ?? Euh...
Pharmacy Lady: I mean, they are good for acne and skin problems too
Me: That's not really why I take them.. I don't have skin problems
Pharmacy Lady: Oh... So how are they working for the rest
Me: Well given that I'm not pregnant, I would assume they are working very well, thank you
Pharmacy Lady: .......
Me: *Exit Pharmacy*
___________________________________________
[People-People!]
Go sign the Guest Book, people! Only DMan has been courageous enough!
Go-Go-Go!
ok... Je DEMISSIONNE!
Even in unrelated tests I get an EVIL answer! How in HELL did I manage that one!
You are an evil bastard. Why don't you save us all
some trouble and jump in front of a bus.
What the hell is wrong with you?!?
brought to you by Quizilla
___________________________________________________________
[Rico Suave?]
Go read this story...
It's probably all the jerking off that made me think of him...
___________________________________________________________
[Celine Dionne]
Apparently we're not the only ones making fun of her
__________________________________________________________
[Birth Control Pill Adventure]
Yesterday at the pharmacy:
Me: I have a prescription under "X" (to remain anonymous)
Parmacy Lady: Diane 35? Birth Control pills?
Me: Yeah
Pharmacy Lady: How are they working for you?
Me: ?? Euh...
Pharmacy Lady: I mean, they are good for acne and skin problems too
Me: That's not really why I take them.. I don't have skin problems
Pharmacy Lady: Oh... So how are they working for the rest
Me: Well given that I'm not pregnant, I would assume they are working very well, thank you
Pharmacy Lady: .......
Me: *Exit Pharmacy*
___________________________________________
[People-People!]
Go sign the Guest Book, people! Only DMan has been courageous enough!
Go-Go-Go!
Tuesday, May 20, 2003
["Eloignez de moi cette tentation"]
Quote from Jesus (I think), somewhere in the Bible (I guess)
I figured it would have a cleansing effect if I removed as many visible traces of Titanium as possible. So I spent the weekend printing and deleting files from my computer..
I even gathered enough courage to remove his picture from it's frame... and replace it with the one with my father, at the wedding.
Ok... not the same warm-heart-I-love-you-so-much-and-wish-to-be-with-you feeling when I look at this new pic, but given it's the only picture I have of me and my father since I was 2, it gives me a I-can't-believe-I-finally-have-a-picture-with-my-father-that-proves-I-am-not-an-orphan sort of almost proud feeling.
He's a good looking fellow, my father.. Maybe I could say he's my new Sugar-Daddy...
At least people would think I'm getting some...
(ok-ok... I AM getting some already)
__________________________________________________
[8th Day of Detox]
Last nite it felt like I walked into a bar and was offered a drink
A used-to-be-all-too-familiar sound
My heart stopped
I slowly walked to the computer with my heart in my throat
5 sentences
I read....
... Took a deep breath
Managed to convince my eyes to stop tearing up
And walked away
Then I called DMan for resolve-reinforcement
So *Sticking tongue out* to those of you who said in the poll that I would be back the second he frrrriiiinnnggsss again
And that includes myself... That's what I voted for when I tested the poll...
I'm still too heart broken to be able to talk to him
__________________________________________________________________
[Party d'Anglais]
Sur une note plus joyeuse et moins "I'm wallowing in the hurt of my shattered heart", en fin de semaine I hosted my first "Party d'Anglais"
Ouin....
Try to visualize this:
9 Anglais dans mon salon
4 assis sur mon super sofa "People Trap" que quand on s'assoit, on peut pu se relever à cause qu'on reste pris
2 assis sur des chaises dont 1 que si y bouge trop la chaise va s'effouèrer à cause que les barreaux sont sortis des trous
Moi assis par terre
Pis 2 autres debouts à cause que y'a pas d'autre place pis ça a l'air qu'y comprennent pas le principe de s'assoir à terre
J'aimerais quand même expliquer, en guise de défense vu que j'ai l'air d'être digne de gagner le "Worst Hostess Award", que c'était pas prévu, ce party là.
(Je remercie encore le ciel d'avoir eu la bonne idée de faire du ménage dans la journée!)
C'était Dimanche et comme à tous les Dimanches de cette nouvelle étape de ma vie qui inclu une vie sociale, on est allé au Karaoke.
Le plan était de revenir chez la voisine d'en haut après, question de célébrer le long weekend.
Je l'sais même pas trop comment c'est arrivé (J'pense que c'est à cause que je suis "the cool french chick who allows them to smoke inside" qui a fait la différence) but next thing I know, on est jamais allé en haut pis c'est chez-nous que le party est resté.
La soirée en bref:
- Des tonnes de "oooooooooo!!" et "aaaaaaaa!!!!" à la découverte de mon Super-Love-Shack-Chambre-à-Coucher. Y'en a même un qui a décidé de vivre la pleine expérience et s'est couché dans mon lit.
- Après 1h, next thing I know, one of the girls decides that she HATES having hairspray in her hair and disapears in my bathroom to take a shower
- A mesure que la nuit avance, les 2 personnes debout sont de moins en moins solides sur leurs pieds et je commence à avoir peur pour mon mobilier et mes vases
- A la moitié de la soirée, y'a pu de bière.. Mais OH MIRACLE! La Cool French Chick Qui Boit Du Jack Daniels Plus Qu'Eux Autres a un bar assez bien garni de bouteilles de fort. Erreur! Ne PAS avoir un bar bien rempli avec des anglais. Des anglais, ça sait pas boire. Après 2-3 bières y commencent à avoir de la misère. Après 5, y sont crashés dans un coin. Si y boivent du fort, y se font des verres pleins de mix de tout ce qu'ils trouvent (y se croient plus hot de même, ça leur donne l'illusion de savoir boire) pis après 2 gorgées, y tiennent pu debout, y peuvent pu parler comme du monde pis y se ramassent crashés dans un coin, inconscients
- Dans un état d'ébriété avancé, le moron du groupe (désormais baptisé Mr Moron) décide que allumer des chandelles complémenterait bien la guitare et chansons mais s'est arrété sec quand j'ai crié "NON! No candles!"... Les sous-titres de mon exclamation incluent "Vous êtes même pas capables de vous tenir comme du monde pis c'est déjà dangereux que vous mettiez le feu avec vos cigarettes... on va certainement pas augmenter les chances de risque avec des chandelles!"
- A 7h du matin, la combinaison Wanna Be Singers et Wanna Be Guitar Player a atteint un volume de décibels inacceptable pour l'heure et après un "Back in Black" particulièrement étourdissant, j'ai demandé qu'on chante un peu moins fort. Après tout, je vis pas dans le bois avec pas de voisins à 10 milles à la ronde...
On m'aura quand même répondu de pas gâcher le meilleur party de l'année pis que si quelqu'un venait se plaindre, Mr Moron would pay them off *rire de tous les autres anglais saouls qui trouvent Moron ben drôle de sa répartie*
- At 8h, figuring they were stoned and drunk enough not to be too sure what was happening and resent me for it, I kicked them out, telling them to take it upstairs, I was going to sleep.
- J'aurai quand même presque eu la possibilité de finir tout ça en beauté quand Mr Back-up-du-back-up (Probablement rendu Mr Main-Interest par processus d'élimination par le haut...) m'a demandé s'il pouvait revenir coucher chez-nous après. En partie dû à mon sens de l'hospitalité, en partie dû au fait que je l'trouve quand même pas trop pire de mon goût, j'ai dit pas de problème, que je laissais la porte débarrée, qu'il avait juste à descendre pis crasher ici. Aucune spécification as to WHERE he would be allowed to crash.. je me suis réservé le droit de veto qui dépendrait majoritairement de l'état d'ébriété dans lequel il se présenterait.
2 secondes après ma réponse, je me suis retournée juste à temps pour voir Moron faire un high-five à Back-Up avec un look "All right dude, you're sooooo gonna score"
Bonne affaire que Back-Up se soit jamais présenté....
_____________________________________________________
[Plus niaiseux que les Anglais?]
From News of the Weird
Criminals Thinking Small:
- An alleged February multi-crime spree by Victor M. Cardoze, 23, all started when he prepaid $3 for gas at Joe's Pond Country Store, then pumped $3.50 worth and pointed a gun at the manager before driving off. [Caledonian-Record (St. Johnsbury, Vt., 2-18-03]
- Robert Boyer, 45, was charged with robbery after asking if he could buy lettuce by the leaf rather than the head, being told no, and walking out with lettuce leaves anyway, in front of a police officer. [USA Today, 12-16-02]
- William W. Bresler, Jr., 56, was taken for psychiatric evaluation after he tried to rob a National City Bank of exactly one cent. [Westerville News, 3-19-03]
Giving Up on Their Own Terms:
- Stephen Ray Carson, 29, in a standoff with police, said he wasn't giving up until he finished the crack cocaine he had just bought with the proceeds of a robbery. (Police got him anyway.) [St. Petersburg Times, 1-15-03]
- Motorist Christina L. Willis, 36, who was finally caught by police following a 30-minute chase after she hit an officer with her car, still refused to get out until she had finished her beer. [Dayton Daily News, 1-7-03]
- Motorist Troy C. Stephani, 32, trying to elude a police chase so that, he later said, he could finish his crack cocaine, took a wrong turn and accidentally drove into the police station parking lot (Medford, N.Y., April). [Salon.com-AP, 4-28-03]
From Police Blotters
- (Washington Post, April 11) "Mount Olivet Road NE, 1200 block, March 30. An animal control officer responding to a call about a snake in a bathroom reported that the snake was actually a hair band."
- (Vancouver (Wash.) Columbian, Jan. 7) "A Vancouver police officer was sent to a home in the 3100 block of S Street ... when a woman called 911 to say a group of 30 cannibals from Yacolt were trying to break into her house. (Officers were unable to locate any cannibals."
- (Grass Valley (Calif.) Union, March 30) "A Dorsey Drive convalescent facility reported that one Alzheimer's patient struck another Alzheimer's patient, but neither of them remembered the incident or wanted medical attention."
Quote from Jesus (I think), somewhere in the Bible (I guess)
I figured it would have a cleansing effect if I removed as many visible traces of Titanium as possible. So I spent the weekend printing and deleting files from my computer..
I even gathered enough courage to remove his picture from it's frame... and replace it with the one with my father, at the wedding.
Ok... not the same warm-heart-I-love-you-so-much-and-wish-to-be-with-you feeling when I look at this new pic, but given it's the only picture I have of me and my father since I was 2, it gives me a I-can't-believe-I-finally-have-a-picture-with-my-father-that-proves-I-am-not-an-orphan sort of almost proud feeling.
He's a good looking fellow, my father.. Maybe I could say he's my new Sugar-Daddy...
At least people would think I'm getting some...
(ok-ok... I AM getting some already)
__________________________________________________
[8th Day of Detox]
Last nite it felt like I walked into a bar and was offered a drink
A used-to-be-all-too-familiar sound
My heart stopped
I slowly walked to the computer with my heart in my throat
5 sentences
I read....
... Took a deep breath
Managed to convince my eyes to stop tearing up
And walked away
Then I called DMan for resolve-reinforcement
So *Sticking tongue out* to those of you who said in the poll that I would be back the second he frrrriiiinnnggsss again
And that includes myself... That's what I voted for when I tested the poll...
I'm still too heart broken to be able to talk to him
__________________________________________________________________
[Party d'Anglais]
Sur une note plus joyeuse et moins "I'm wallowing in the hurt of my shattered heart", en fin de semaine I hosted my first "Party d'Anglais"
Ouin....
Try to visualize this:
9 Anglais dans mon salon
4 assis sur mon super sofa "People Trap" que quand on s'assoit, on peut pu se relever à cause qu'on reste pris
2 assis sur des chaises dont 1 que si y bouge trop la chaise va s'effouèrer à cause que les barreaux sont sortis des trous
Moi assis par terre
Pis 2 autres debouts à cause que y'a pas d'autre place pis ça a l'air qu'y comprennent pas le principe de s'assoir à terre
J'aimerais quand même expliquer, en guise de défense vu que j'ai l'air d'être digne de gagner le "Worst Hostess Award", que c'était pas prévu, ce party là.
(Je remercie encore le ciel d'avoir eu la bonne idée de faire du ménage dans la journée!)
C'était Dimanche et comme à tous les Dimanches de cette nouvelle étape de ma vie qui inclu une vie sociale, on est allé au Karaoke.
Le plan était de revenir chez la voisine d'en haut après, question de célébrer le long weekend.
Je l'sais même pas trop comment c'est arrivé (J'pense que c'est à cause que je suis "the cool french chick who allows them to smoke inside" qui a fait la différence) but next thing I know, on est jamais allé en haut pis c'est chez-nous que le party est resté.
La soirée en bref:
- Des tonnes de "oooooooooo!!" et "aaaaaaaa!!!!" à la découverte de mon Super-Love-Shack-Chambre-à-Coucher. Y'en a même un qui a décidé de vivre la pleine expérience et s'est couché dans mon lit.
- Après 1h, next thing I know, one of the girls decides that she HATES having hairspray in her hair and disapears in my bathroom to take a shower
- A mesure que la nuit avance, les 2 personnes debout sont de moins en moins solides sur leurs pieds et je commence à avoir peur pour mon mobilier et mes vases
- A la moitié de la soirée, y'a pu de bière.. Mais OH MIRACLE! La Cool French Chick Qui Boit Du Jack Daniels Plus Qu'Eux Autres a un bar assez bien garni de bouteilles de fort. Erreur! Ne PAS avoir un bar bien rempli avec des anglais. Des anglais, ça sait pas boire. Après 2-3 bières y commencent à avoir de la misère. Après 5, y sont crashés dans un coin. Si y boivent du fort, y se font des verres pleins de mix de tout ce qu'ils trouvent (y se croient plus hot de même, ça leur donne l'illusion de savoir boire) pis après 2 gorgées, y tiennent pu debout, y peuvent pu parler comme du monde pis y se ramassent crashés dans un coin, inconscients
- Dans un état d'ébriété avancé, le moron du groupe (désormais baptisé Mr Moron) décide que allumer des chandelles complémenterait bien la guitare et chansons mais s'est arrété sec quand j'ai crié "NON! No candles!"... Les sous-titres de mon exclamation incluent "Vous êtes même pas capables de vous tenir comme du monde pis c'est déjà dangereux que vous mettiez le feu avec vos cigarettes... on va certainement pas augmenter les chances de risque avec des chandelles!"
- A 7h du matin, la combinaison Wanna Be Singers et Wanna Be Guitar Player a atteint un volume de décibels inacceptable pour l'heure et après un "Back in Black" particulièrement étourdissant, j'ai demandé qu'on chante un peu moins fort. Après tout, je vis pas dans le bois avec pas de voisins à 10 milles à la ronde...
On m'aura quand même répondu de pas gâcher le meilleur party de l'année pis que si quelqu'un venait se plaindre, Mr Moron would pay them off *rire de tous les autres anglais saouls qui trouvent Moron ben drôle de sa répartie*
- At 8h, figuring they were stoned and drunk enough not to be too sure what was happening and resent me for it, I kicked them out, telling them to take it upstairs, I was going to sleep.
- J'aurai quand même presque eu la possibilité de finir tout ça en beauté quand Mr Back-up-du-back-up (Probablement rendu Mr Main-Interest par processus d'élimination par le haut...) m'a demandé s'il pouvait revenir coucher chez-nous après. En partie dû à mon sens de l'hospitalité, en partie dû au fait que je l'trouve quand même pas trop pire de mon goût, j'ai dit pas de problème, que je laissais la porte débarrée, qu'il avait juste à descendre pis crasher ici. Aucune spécification as to WHERE he would be allowed to crash.. je me suis réservé le droit de veto qui dépendrait majoritairement de l'état d'ébriété dans lequel il se présenterait.
2 secondes après ma réponse, je me suis retournée juste à temps pour voir Moron faire un high-five à Back-Up avec un look "All right dude, you're sooooo gonna score"
Bonne affaire que Back-Up se soit jamais présenté....
_____________________________________________________
[Plus niaiseux que les Anglais?]
From News of the Weird
Criminals Thinking Small:
- An alleged February multi-crime spree by Victor M. Cardoze, 23, all started when he prepaid $3 for gas at Joe's Pond Country Store, then pumped $3.50 worth and pointed a gun at the manager before driving off. [Caledonian-Record (St. Johnsbury, Vt., 2-18-03]
- Robert Boyer, 45, was charged with robbery after asking if he could buy lettuce by the leaf rather than the head, being told no, and walking out with lettuce leaves anyway, in front of a police officer. [USA Today, 12-16-02]
- William W. Bresler, Jr., 56, was taken for psychiatric evaluation after he tried to rob a National City Bank of exactly one cent. [Westerville News, 3-19-03]
Giving Up on Their Own Terms:
- Stephen Ray Carson, 29, in a standoff with police, said he wasn't giving up until he finished the crack cocaine he had just bought with the proceeds of a robbery. (Police got him anyway.) [St. Petersburg Times, 1-15-03]
- Motorist Christina L. Willis, 36, who was finally caught by police following a 30-minute chase after she hit an officer with her car, still refused to get out until she had finished her beer. [Dayton Daily News, 1-7-03]
- Motorist Troy C. Stephani, 32, trying to elude a police chase so that, he later said, he could finish his crack cocaine, took a wrong turn and accidentally drove into the police station parking lot (Medford, N.Y., April). [Salon.com-AP, 4-28-03]
From Police Blotters
- (Washington Post, April 11) "Mount Olivet Road NE, 1200 block, March 30. An animal control officer responding to a call about a snake in a bathroom reported that the snake was actually a hair band."
- (Vancouver (Wash.) Columbian, Jan. 7) "A Vancouver police officer was sent to a home in the 3100 block of S Street ... when a woman called 911 to say a group of 30 cannibals from Yacolt were trying to break into her house. (Officers were unable to locate any cannibals."
- (Grass Valley (Calif.) Union, March 30) "A Dorsey Drive convalescent facility reported that one Alzheimer's patient struck another Alzheimer's patient, but neither of them remembered the incident or wanted medical attention."