Creepy-Fat-Barbu is voted off and everybody remaining annoys me
Only 7 rejects to go.
I tried to scientifically calculate the quantity of air time each of them got in the first 10 min in hopes that I would know in advance who would be voted off this week but the producers are becoming more subtile and if I cared, it would almost have been a suspense!
Crisis of the day: Back to camp after the Fat-Barbu eviction ceremony, the fish is gone...
Fat-Barbu, taking his Jesus role very seriously and apparently not having seen all the foreshawdowing hints that he would be voted off, had left them with a bucket-full of fish to last them at least the night without starving to death.
It is assumed that one of Fat-Barbu's allies, pissed off the Tribe's Provider and Santa Claus got booted out betrayed by everyone, threw the fish away in a defiant revenge act.
Ooooooooo.. how fuckin' deviously evil!
Well panic hits, people cry, everybody thinks they will die of hunger now and good for you, should have kept Fat-Barbu around since the remaining wanna-be survivors are pretty incompetent:
Crazy-Scout looses fish hooks
Tim Burton brings back electric sting-rays
The Black-Desagreable and Morticia only want to sit around and do nothing
Christa-Les-Couettes hasn't been seen fishing so far
Chiquita-Banana is too busy bitching at Blondie-Demi-Portion all the time and telling him to go fuck himself
and the only cooking we've seen Demi-Portion do so far is cook coconut in the fiery debate in the episode "fried coconut tastes like popcorn" a few weeks ago
More crying of Christa-Les-Couettes who's the main suspect, more arguing and fighting and fuck off and for a moment there are more BEEEPP than words and I believe I am watching a Jerry Springer episode.
The whole drama ends with Tim Burton's night time discovery of the spilled fish behind the camp after he woke up smelling something fishy.. heu heu
Oh
And the camera inteview of Chiquita Banana confessing to the crime
My god... is it already time for the Rewards Challenge?
Wow... Time flies when you're having a crisis, uh?!
Quiz questions, everytime you get it right, you make someone else walk the plank
Twist: it is not the contestants who will be thrown to the sharks.. but.. their... LOVED ONES!!
*Tears in Freaky-Scout eyes*
Chiquita Banana's Hubby
Black-Desagreable' s high school sweet heart
(ok.. maybe someone can explain to me what that would mean exactly? Like he's her boyfriend or not?)
*Freaky Scout is already crying...*
Christa-Les-Couettes Fiancé (Damn! She's HIS fiancé.. not just a sneaky chick with nothing!)
*Christa-Les-Couettes and Freaky-Scout are bawling*
Tim Burton's mom (Fuck! My Mom!), Morticia's Boyfriend, Freaky-Scout's Ugly-Husband
*She is hysterical.. Self-control, another badge she never earned*
Jiffy-Pop-The Host says he will start to cry too
Demi-Portion's best buddy, affectueusement surnommé "Thunder D"
*Me yelling in my living room: Oh ben Tabarnak! Demi-Portion est gay!!!*
Crisse.. vous me ferai pas accroire qu'y'est pas gay, lui là! Tchèquez-y la pose!!
Then, all this happy reunion comes to a halt as a terrible turn of events unfolds, worst than the fish crisis:
Blondie-Demi-Portion: Dude, where's Grand-ma?
Thunder D: She died, dude.. didn't you get my letter?
Inspector-Gadget-Weird-Feeling-O'Meter-Clue: When did we move from Survivor to Temptation Island where the contestants can receive letters?
If everybody was not crying already, they would probably have started at the sad news but the show must go on and it's time for the Walk-The-Plank-Newlyweds Game, where the rewards is to return to camp and spend 24h with the loved person
Chiquita-Banana wants to piss off Demi-Portion and moves Thunder D one step closer to the water
"I have like a million questions about my Grand-Ma but obvioulsy no one cares"
Guilt-Trip-O'Meter: Woooooo wooooooo Red Alert Red Alert (Listen, I am BRAINWASHED to recognize guilt trips, ok?!)
Apparently no one else in that game is and they all kill everybody else's peon instead of Demi-Portion in a sympathetic generous self-sacrificing gesture so that Blondie can spend the nite with his guay lover.. er.. I mean get answers and closure about his dead Grand-Ma
As a reward for their selfless act, everyone except the guay couple.. er... Demi-Portion and Thunder D, gets deported for the nite to another beach with only a machete and water-proof matches. That will teach them to be generous for next time!
Demi-Portion hugs and thanks everybody (except Chiquita-Banana) a million times, and some more and leaves with Thunder D
Dude... did you see how they all sacrificed to let me win?
Hahahaaaa
My Grandma is at home watching Jerry Springer
AH-HA!!!!!!!!
My Titanium-Lie-Detector was right!
Apparently, some people will pretend a loved one died to manipulate others..
Excuse me while I go throw up
I am still Super-Inspector-Gadget!
The rest of the show is pretty uneventful as usual
Bitching-bitching-talking behind people's back-bitching-trying to form alliances not to get voted off-bitching-bitching-Immunity Challenge-Tribal Council-Black Desagreable goes back home.