[Hey Brian.. IKEA a fait une annonce sur toi.. pis quelqu'un sur son blog a rit que ça dit que t'as pas d'amis]
Oui, si vous cherchez pour "ikea" "brian is frightened" sur Google.com, vous arrivez chez nous
pis on peut pas se tromper.. je suis le seul resultat
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[Aux grands maux les grands remèdes]
J'y ai assez laissé de chance de se déniaiser pis y fait pas de move
Fait que quand y faut, y faut pis on va prendre les grands moyens

C'est le temps de faire

LE SORT DU BOUT DE BOIS!!!!
*musique dramatique*

Préparez vos robes de noces, c'est tellement infaillible, c'est sur que je marie Jouni d'ici 6 mois

[Erratum]
Yesterday's post indicated that the new Hit Counter was working well
That's an Erratum
A big one
It was shit
Counting the number of pages instead of visitors when the settings were to count only #Unique Hits
Counting my own IP address even if I indicated to block it (so when I edit my post, it added it to the counter)
and adding hits everytime within the hour even if it was configured not to repeat the returning visitors for 6 hours

It's just me. I like to know the real visitor's traffic, and if everytime I hit "refresh" my stats increase, I'll end up like Tattoo and have 500 hits in a week!

So Bye bye compteur pas bon

The new one is absolutely fantastic
except for two small details:
1st, you may have noticed a pop up ad appearing when the page loaded
Sorry, that's life in the Free Competent Counter life

2nd, the counter comes with its own ugly huge banner so I had to place it at the bottom of the page

You'll have to forgive me.....

.... Please?
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[Pis à part de ça?]
A part de ça rien pantoute
Le beau Jouni a été mon Héro Geek du Jour hier, en arrangeant mon MSN pour qu'il arrête de crasher toutes les 2 secondes à causes des ad banners qui sortent du serveur Proxy que j'ai besoin pour bypasser le firwall de ma compagnie pis qui font que mon ordi a pas assez de mémoire pour supporter ça PLUS n'importe quoi d'autre que j'essaie de faire sur mon ordi.
Sauf que je suis full blonde ça a l'air pis pour une raison que je comprends pas, sauf que c'est surement juste pour me faire chier comme d'habitude, les settings ont pas été sauvés pis après 1h de bonheur, mon ordi a chié pis j'ai jamais pu me relogger avec les settings de mon Geek-Futur-Chum pis lui était parti quelque part pour une conférence

Heureusement...
Il devait être pas là aujourd'hui non plus mais je viens de le voir arriver
(Une maudite bonne affaire que je me suis pas encore faite pogner à faire dur en me disant que anyway, y serait pas là)

J'va aller l'écoeurer tantot après y avoir laissé le temps de lire ses 300 emails qu'il doit avoir vu qu'il était pas là hier

Beau témoignage, hein?
Estie que j'ai pu rien à dire!

[Least Competent Criminals]
From News of the Weird

A man pulled a knife on a cashier at a Family Dollar store in Vineland, N.J., in December and demanded money from the open cash register, but the cashier slammed it shut and said "No." After several more demands and several more refusals, the man walked out. [Daily Journal (Vineland), 12-22-03]

And a potential robber of the Iowa Savings Bank in Des Moines on May 3 suffered a similar fate, except that not only did he finally walk out empty-handed, but he also left behind his own $20 bill he had initially laid on the counter to get the teller's attention. [Des Moines Register, 5-4-04]
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[Le nouveau compteur marche bien]
Pis m'a appris que désormais, un search pour Fourrer se rend ici.
Pis ça vient de quelqu'un des Etats-Unis en plus
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[D'autres Updates sur le site]
Ok.. new links in the left column, go check them out, they are identified with *

I HIGHLY recommend American Gladiator (short version for My life as an American Gladiator)

Not sure? Here's an example from his latest post:

I'd just like to say to the person who called my cellphone 5 times recently, that I am not Carlos. I don't know much, but I know that.

I should make it clear that from our limited conversations, I wasn't sure whether the caller was Carlos or wanted me to be Carlos. But it was clear that there was some sort of Carlos negotiation taking place.

And I should mention that it was in Spanish too, the talking from the phone. And before the call would come through, there would be a voice in Spanish, which was an operator, I guess, saying something that I'm pretty sure was about alpacas, then this gruff voice would say "Carlos!"

Sometimes he would say "CARLOS!" in a anguished sort of way, that suggested maybe he was in some dire peril, and needed Carlos to extricate him. Maybe someone was after him. Maybe he was in jail. Maybe someone was after him AND he was in jail. But I don't want to think about that. Some poor guy, maybe being chased around a cell by his crazed bunkmate, who had fashioned some crude shiv from bedsprings and skin, and all he can do is stop at the payphone when maybe the cellmate drops his spring-and-skin shiv, and reach out in the darkness to Carlos, hoping against hope that somehow Carlos has got the bail money, perhaps from pawning his CD collection or rare 19th century daguerrotypes.

And here I am on the other end of the phone, distracted from some excruciatingly boring work task, and yelling into the phone "I AM NOT CARLOS!"

So I'm sorry, man. Or Carlos. Either way.
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[FYI]
It's Jouni's B-Day on the 24th
Do you care?
I DO!!

[Fake 2000th Visitor]
Just as we were gonna hit 2000th visitor, my site meter crashed.

After 2 weeks of trying to figure out what the hell happened when we were so close to see if there would be another "Fuck You Dave" sign to be posted to reward the lucky 2000th, I finally got this message when clicking on where the counter used to be:

SM5 Server Status Update

Saturday May 15th

This is an update to the problem with the SM5 server. Unfortunately,
the drive recovery sevice was not able to recover any files from the
damaged hard drive. That means all the previously collected statistics
are unavailable.

You will be able to keep the same codename so that the pages of your site
won't need to be updated but you will need to recreate your account.

Click here to recreate your account.

Of course, when clicking "here" to recreate the account, nothing happens.
Aaahh.. the joys of free online web stuff

Yesterday I finally found a new web counter that looks competent enough.
It's not as easy as it seems to find one that gives you all the visitors' stats, including (and most importantly) the referral URL.
Imagine.. No more ways of knowing about all the monsexgratuit and envie pressante de pisser!
NO! I couldn't deprive you (and myself) of that entertainment

So now everything is pretty much back to normal, except for
1- the 2 weeks where I don't know how many visitors I got
and
2- the real 2000th visitor will remain forever unknown

But for the fun of it, yesterday I started the new counter at 1995 visitors (which is where we were at when the old counter crashed), to give someone the chance to be the second 2000th visitor

Now if I can just figure out how to read the stats from the new counter, I'll eventually be able to tell you who is the not real 2000th visitor....
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[Paranoid Theory #186]
I finally figured out what is going on
And laugh if you will, but even if I am ALWAYS paranoid, this time I am really scared I am right about this

I think Jouni is Titanium Man's half-brother
*musique style Unsolved Mystery meets Twilight Zone*

For real

Here is what we knew so far:
- They look similar in shape, height, and face
- From what I know of TM and what I can guess from Jouni, the resemblance even extends to the size of what's in their pants (surtout quand Jouni porte ses culottes "Super Paquet" comme aujourd'hui.. je manque de m'évanou chaque fois qu'il se plante en avant de moi!)
- They talk the same, use the same vocabulary, same attitude, same fascination with titanium stuff, same habit of telling the price of everything they talk about
- Both love sushi (and both try to pretend they know what they are doing when ordering a Dragon Roll but find out that it's covered in avocado slices when they receive it and both hate avocados so they peel it off the roll) and Thai food
- Both have a friend called Collin
- Both IT Directors, (although it was never really confirmed with TM and Jouni has an office with windows, TM was in a basement with cement floors and looked more like he was working in a mailroom than an office)
(J'ecris ça pis je ris toute seule!)

So this morning, le beau Jouni came to say hi and we started talking
- His father died 10 years ago (which brings us to 1994, the year TM father died)
- His grand-parents (on his father's side) are in Ottawa (which is where TM was born)
- He is 4 years younger than TM, (TM father left when TM was 4)
- TM had mentioned his father had remarried and had kids with his new wife

Now people... stop for 2 minutes and think about the impacts of what I am saying..
Jouni could be TM's half-brother.. seriously
If I learn that Jouni's father was a judge, I swear I will faint

And maybe they know each other, maybe they don't
but it's still VERY scary

[A well made bad movie]



A battlefield
Thousands and thousands of soldiers will battle because the mean king wants to conquer everything just out of greed
The good king begs him to be reasonable and proposes a deal:
Choose your best fighter to battle against mine and whoever wins the battle wins his king that war and thousands of lives will be spared

The mean king agrees

The good king's fighter emerges out of the rows of soldiers, amongst cheers of anticipated victory. He's an ugly looking scarred bald giant.
Woooo we're supposed to be afraid
Who in hell will be crazy enough to battle this dude, and more important, who has a chance to win against him!?

The mean king yells out "ACHILES!" a few times
Achiles is not there.. someone is gone to fetch him

Cue to Brad Pitt's tent where he is still sleeping in the arms of a gorgeous creature (we don't even need to see her face to know that she is) and zoom out to reveal another girl sleeping there too
*Laughs from the Ontarian male audience in a eheheh-lucky bastard-I too have done that quite a few times/I wish I could have that too, way*
*Sighs from the Ontarian female audience in a aaaahhhhhhh-I soooo wish I could be one of those two girls right now*

His king (He is not MY king - Brad Pitt in a defiant-allez-toute-chier-tout-le-monde-way) is summoning him to the battle field and his eyes still puffy and full of sleep, he walks through the soldiers, never stopping, past everybody, past the king who says something bitchy to the effect that next time they'll have a war when it better accomodates his schedule, walks up to the ugly Brutus who stands there and before the big ugly thing even has a chance to lift his arm, Brad Pitt does a super-summersault type pirouette, and mortally stabs the giant through his shoulder.. turns around, not even stopping and keeps walking as the dead-ugly-beast/giant falls to the ground

And there's our first hint that "Troy" is a mistake for the movie's title
"Pitt" would have been more appropriate
The movie is not about Troy, except in the efforts to make a magnificent epic movie by showing beautiful landscapes and seas and cliffs of Troy and Greece.
Other than that, even Helen takes a back seat to Pitt's Achiles character. In the Brad Pitt's version of the Trojan War, she is portrayed as a little quiet/shy girl of unbelievable beauty who fell in love with Paris instead of staying with the mean king and who doesn't say 20 lines in the whole 3 hours

Hell, even the Tojan Horse, becomes just a prop to show off Brad's muscles when he reppels down the horse's flank
I'm surprised they didn't try to pass off the Horse as his idea too...
(Maybe it's in the deleted scenes)

Basically, the whole movie is a Brad Pitt's impression of Russell Crowe's Gladiator, (minus the charisma Crowe had in that particular movie) in a Lord of the Ring imitation setting

Achiles,
le héro sans peur, et surtout sans reproche,
the valliant warrior, rebellious as hell, defiant of authority, but with a conscience,
who kills everybody without hesitation but saves the prisonner priestess girl
and who enters Troy in the Trojan Horse but not to pillage and burn the city,
no no... not him
He comes to rescue the girl and while we see his companions murdering people and burning the city, our super hero-with-a-heart-of-gold-now-that-he's-fallen-in-love runs through the streets of Troy yelling her name in a desperate attemps to save her

Sad.. really really sad
No doubts the effects are well made, les prises de vue grandioses et superbes,
but as far as the rest goes, it's a big BLEEEUHHH
I did not sign up to see a Brad Pitt epic and see how many pouting poses his unaturally pink lips can make from under a helmet.

One positive thing:
I was gratefull I got to see "Troy - The Epic of Brad Pitt" in theaters
that way I got to enjoy the scenery and the music/battle effects to their fullest
I KNOW if I had rented it and watched it at home without the full effect of the deafening sound of clashing swords, I most probably would have fallen asleep